Grace in the Middle

By Meghan Ryan Asbury

I was sitting in a stuffy U-Haul during my tenth move in ten years, surrounded by half-packed boxes and unspoken disappointment. I drove across town with white knuckles on the steering wheel, my eyes brimming with tears and my chest tight with panic. I didn’t want to start over—not again.

While I was throwing an epic “pity party,” I realized it wasn’t just about the move. It was about what the move represented: my desire for control and my lack of trust that what was ahead was better than what was behind.

At some point, we all go through transitions. Some are planned, such as moving to a new city, starting a new job, graduating, or getting married. At other times, they are unexpected, such as the end of a relationship or the loss of a loved one.

I don’t know what circumstances or changes you’ve faced lately. Maybe you haven’t moved cities, but you’re transitioning into a new life stage, such as marriage, parenthood, or empty-nesting. Or perhaps a pillar relationship in your life has changed, and you’re unsure how to move forward. Or you’ve started a new job or role, and everything is piling up faster than you can keep up with.

It can be hard to navigate being in the middle. Whether exciting or devastating, these moments can leave us feeling emotional and exhausted. But amid those seasons when it feels like we are just struggling to survive, there is hope to help us get to the other side. Sometimes you should just take a step and figure out what you need to get through it.

Acknowledging What Has Changed

Navigating a transition means that something has come to an end. Things are different from what they were before. Whether it seems big or small, it still causes grief. But it also opens opportunities for new things to begin. And both can happen at the same time. Grief and joy are not mutually exclusive.

I wouldn’t usually cry in a U-Haul, but my body and soul were telling me that something was not okay. While I wanted to stuff those emotions down and move on, I needed that moment to accept the change ahead.

You don’t need to dismiss or move past what you are grieving; instead, take time to acknowledge what has ended so you can be honest with others around you and with yourself.

Here are some questions to ask yourself in those moments of transition and change:

• What are you grieving? (What has ended? What do you miss?)
• What can you rejoice in? (What is new? What are you grateful for? What can you look forward to? If you don’t have anything, try to plan something!)

How to Get Through It

One of the biggest things I’ve struggled with during seasons of being “in the middle” is knowing how to fill up as much as I am pouring out. When we experience change, everything feels like work, and it can be challenging to find rest, especially when things that used to be enjoyable and restful have changed, too.

My brother once gave me an analogy: Our life is like a coffee cup. We can’t pour out when we are empty. There will be days (or even weeks and months) when the cup is full. And there will be times when it’s empty. We all know we can’t pour from an empty cup. But when you’re in the middle of change, even knowing how to refill can feel like another task. The key isn’t perfection—it’s permission. Permission to try. Permission to rest. Permission to ask, “What would bring life to me this week—even just for a moment? Physically, relationally, spiritually, emotionally?”

One morning, running late and overwhelmed, I muttered, “Ugh, I have to go to work.” Then it hit me—what a privilege it is to have meaningful work, to pay rent, to pour into something bigger than myself. Nothing changed externally. However, as I began to feel more grateful, it altered my perspective on the day ahead.

The middle may not be glamorous. It’s often messy, uncertain, and slower than we would like it to be. But it’s also where growth happens—quietly, steadily, deep beneath the surface. If you’re in that place right now, know this: you’re not stuck. The middle never lasts forever. You can be hopeful for what is ahead.

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Meghan Ryan Asbury is an author and speaker who is passionate about helping people discover and live out their God-given callings. She has worked in international ministries as well as with Proverbs 31 Ministries. When she’s not surrounded by friends, you can usually find her reading a book or enjoying the great outdoors. A 30-A beach girl, born and raised, she and her husband now reside in Nashville. Her first book, You Are Not Behind: Building a Life You Love Without Having Everything You Want, is available wherever books are sold. You can connect with her on Instagram @meghanryanasbury and at AlwaysMeghan.com.