fbpx vie magazine subscribe button

The Dean’s Tips on Cocktail Party Attire

By Suzanne Pollak

It’s chic to wear a fantastic “something” over and over to make it your signature. Just as smart hosts cook their favorite recipe again and again—no matter who comes to dinner—because they know their guests look forward to their culinary specialty, the chicest women throughout history know the style repetition secret.

That something can be an accessory, a dress, a shoe. I learned from native and expatriate ladies swanning into my parents’ 1960s cocktail parties all over Africa. Women wore cigarette pants for casual affairs and jewel-toned satin mini cocktail dresses at fancier parties. Along with real hairdos (coifs, updos), eyeliner flaring out just like Cleopatra’s, brilliant lips inhaling pearl or golden cigarette holders, and perhaps even a huge cocktail ring or elaborate earrings, none of these beauties boasted an expansive wardrobe with unlimited choices, but they had a cocktail uniform that took them anywhere. Once these vital decisions are made, brains are free to tackle life’s thornier problems: whom to invite to your party; which stranger to talk to first at someone else’s; how to grab attention, connect, ignite a fire, or tactfully end a conversation that’s headed nowhere.

As a teenager, I appropriated the tip immediately and forever. Deciding and simplifying what to wear is cheaper and quicker once you know what suits you. Dressing becomes a snap, so be loyal and stick with your style. Adding that something extra or taking it off can make the outfit appropriate for the particular party and place.

Because, of course, it makes a difference where the cocktail party is:

Hollywood, California, or Hollywood, South Carolina? The ambassador’s residence or your neighbor’s garden? “When in Rome,” so the saying goes. You don’t want to be dramatically different from everyone else unless you can handle it. For example, a man does not wear a motorcycle jacket when he attends a soiree at Charleston’s Yacht Club. Men there wear the proper uniform of khaki pants and a blue blazer. I once knew two young American beauties who visited the south of France and were assured that everyone, absolutely everyone, went topless to parties at a certain place. Perhaps a little naïve, they showed up appropriately undressed to a party filled with elegant, older, couture-covered guests. They are still embarrassed decades later!

Dressing comes down to the first impression.

What can a first impression tell us about someone we only met for a moment at a party? Of course, we all know human beings are complex and contradictory, but you don’t have to live with someone to sense if you want more of them or less. The package of you starts with eye contact, the smile, and what is draping your body. Identify what you want out of the engagement. Something—or nothing? Are you there to sip one bourbon, or to possibly meet your next business associate or romantic partner? You don’t want your clothes to get in the way. A woman does not want to be so flashy that others are distracted from her substance, but neither does she want to seem too dowdy.

Figure out your primary assets—cleavage, neck, arms, hair?—and choose cocktail attire accordingly.

For your own party, you will need to move, sit, and stand. As a guest, you can swan around or sprawl on a sofa as you wish.

For reference, here is my summer cocktail uniform: Hart tassel earrings, a white blouse and cigarette pants from J.McLaughlin, and extra-pointy shoes to make my legs look longer. My favorite pair of Balenciaga mules calls to mind the time of Robin Hood! Because they are extravagant, they will be worn with jeans all fall and winter, for hosting ladies luncheons and gumbo dinner parties, with a Halloween costume, for a Thanksgiving feast and Christmas dinner, and even just for hanging out at home.

Finally, don’t forget to have a “dressing drink.”

One of my fondest memories is sitting with my father at home in Africa before another of our huge parties began. While my mother was still running around creating stress and possibly havoc, my father relaxed in the living room sipping his scotch. I always thought of this as his “dressing drink”—just finished dressing, enjoying the calm before the chaos, talking with his daughter.

— V —


Suzanne Pollak, a mentor and lecturer in the fields of home, hearth, and hospitality, is the founder and dean of the Charleston Academy of Domestic Pursuits. She is the coauthor of Entertaining for Dummies, The Pat Conroy Cookbook, and The Charleston Academy of Domestic Pursuits: A Handbook of Etiquette with Recipes. Born into a diplomatic family, Pollak was raised in Africa, where her parents hosted multiple parties every week. Her South Carolina homes have been featured in the Wall Street Journal “Mansion” section and Town & Country magazine.


The World’s Best Old-Fashioned

This is the perfect “dressing drink.” Instead of my dad’s scotch, I switched to bourbon—when in Rome!

2 ounces bourbon or rye whiskey
1 thin slice of a sugar cube
2 dashes Angostura bitters
1 dash orange bitters
Orange peel for garnish
1 Luxardo cherry for garnish
Ice

Put all the above in an old-fashioned glass filled with smallish ice cubes. Stir for precisely 35 seconds, then strain into another glass and add one or two big ice cubes. Cut a slice of orange peel and twist on top of the drink. Leave slice in the drink. Add one Luxardo cherry. Voila!



Read Responsibly

VIE Magazine September 2023 Jay Mercado
VIE Magazine - The Art & Design Issue November 2021
VIE Magazine January 2021 Special Commemorative Edition
VIE Magazine September 2020 Wanderlust Issue, Fancy Camps, The Idea Boutique
VIE Magazine August 2020 Art & Culture Issue, Nathan Alan Yoakum Art
VIE Magazine - Architecture & Design Issue - July 2020
VIE Magazine - Decor and Home Issue - June 2020
VIE Magazine May 2020 Entertainment Issue, Leslie Odom Jr
VIE Magazine - April 2020 Culinary Issue
VIE Magazine March 2020 The Fashion Edit, VONDOM, Alys Beach Fl, Digital Graffiti, Tres Chic, isidro dunbar Modern Interiors, Digital Graffiti Festival
VIE Magazine February 2020 Health & Beauty Issue
VIE Magazine - Travel Issue - January 2020 - Tanzania Safari Cover
VIE Magazine - Women's Issue - December 2019 - Tina Brown Cover
VIE NOV19 Goodness Issue
VIE Magazine, September 2019 Art & Culture Issue, Paul Hanninen
VIE Magazine - August 2019 - The Architecture and Design Issue
VIE Magazine - July 2019 - The Artist Issue
VIE Magazine - June 2019 - Fashion Edit
VIE Magazine - May 2019 - Culinary Issue
VIE Magazine - April 2019 - The Health & Wellness Issue
VIE Magazine - Special Entertainment Edition - March 2019
VIE Magazine February 2019 Luxury Homes & Technology Issue with Robbie Antonio of Revolution Precrafted
VIE Magazine - January 2019 - Southern Sophisticate Issue Cover
VIE Magazine - Special Anniversary Travel Edition - December 2018
VIE Magazine - The Goodness Issue - November 2018
VIE Magazine - The Art & Culture Issue - October 2018
VIE Magazine - Home & Garden Issue - September 2018
VIE Magazine - August 2018 Animal Issue
VIE Magazine - July 2018 Architecture & Design Issue - Subscribe to the magazine!
VIE Magazine - June 2018 Travel & Tech Issue
VIE Magazine - May 2018 Couture Issue
VIE Magazine - The Culinary Issue - April 2018 Cover - Chef James Briscione and Brooke Parkhurst
VIE Magazine - The Entertainers Issue - March 2018
VIE Magazine - February 2018 Destination Travel Issue
VIE Magazine - January 2018 Health & Beauty Issue
VIE Magazine, The Sophisticate Issue, December 2017
VIE Magazine - November 2017 Art & Culture Issue
VIE Magazine - October 2017 Home & Garden Issue
VIE Magazine | September 2017 | The Stories and Storytellers Issue
VIE Magazine - The Adventure Issue - August 2017
VIE Magazine - July 2017 - Art & Artist Issue
VIE Magazine - The Voyager Issue - June 2017
VIE magazine 2017 March-April Cover South Walton Fashion Week
VIE Magazine - January/February 2017 - The Health & Beauty Issue
VIE Magazine - Nov/Dec 2016 The Sophisticate Issue
christian siriano vie magazine september october 2016 vie magazine
the modern minimalist issue
Summertime!
the culinary and couture issue march april 2016 vie magazine
the voyager issue alys beach vie magazine january february 2016
cultural issue vie magazine november december 2015
home and garden issue vie magazine september october 2015
the art and style issue vie magazine july august 2015
the wedding issue 2015 May June vie magazine
the food and fashion issue vie magazine march april 2015
the travel issue vie magazine january february 2015
the music issue vie magazine 2014 november december
The Animal Issue vie magazine september october 2014
the home and garden issue vie magazine july august 2014
the wedding issue vie magazine may june 2014
emeril lagasse food and fashion vie magazine
the men's issue january february 2014
the music issue november december 2013 vie magazine
the home and garden issue 2013 october september
the wedding issue vie magazine july august 2013
the artist issue may june 2013 vie magazine
the food and fashion issue march april 2013
the men's issue january february 2013 vie magazine
The Holiday Issue
the love issue july august 2012
the all american summer may june 2012
the entertainment issue march april 2012
the fashion issue vie magazine winter 2011
the home and garden issue vie magazine fall 2011
the anniversary edition vie magazine summer 2011
the wedding issue vie magazine spring 2011
vie magazine the holiday issue 2010 Dec
vintage swimsuits vie magazine 2010 Fall
judith march designer vie magazine summer 2010
wedding giveaway vie magazine spring 2010
holiday gift guide vie magazine winter 2009
emarketing explosion vie magazine fall 2009
tribute to mother's day vie magazine summer 2009
james and robert redford vie magazine spring 2009
zz top vie magazine fall winter 2008
project dreams vie magazine new york fashion week
Sign-up for VIEmail

Sign up for VIEmail


X

A LIFESTYLE