What If You Just Fed the Ducks?

By Meghan Ryan Asbury

We have a painting of ducks hanging in the corner of our little living room. My mother-in-law found it when my husband first moved in, so it was there before I entered the picture. But it’s one of my favorite pieces in our house.

I cherish it because it reminds me of a story my aunt told me right after my college graduation. That time of life is one of the most vulnerable. If you’re there, you are feeling it now: the mix of fear and excitement for what’s ahead. The possibilities are both endless and paralyzing.

Even over a decade removed, I find myself in seasons where I feel similar things. At the time, I felt stuck. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life. The reality of officially entering “the real world” scared me.

Regardless of your age or season of life, do you ever have those days (or maybe weeks or months) where you don’t know where God is or what the heck He is doing? But instead of bringing it to the Lord, you just get busy? Then you let it all pile up, and it gets harder and harder, until you feel like giving up.

It’s almost like we avoid dealing with our junk because we are afraid of what God will say or do. We think it’s easier to ignore our mess than deal with it. So, what do we do? We numb the uncertainty by trying hard to do it all ourselves.

One day, I shared some of this with my aunt, and that’s when she told me about her post-grad experience. In her mid-twenties, she had to move back home temporarily between jobs. Defeated, embarrassed, and lost, she had no idea what to do next. And she felt too beaten down to put herself out there again.

This is a spot many of us have found ourselves in at one point or another.

But my no-nonsense, Boston, Irish-Catholic grandpa told her she couldn’t sit around all day and that she needed to go apply for jobs. So, every day she would get dressed, take her briefcase, and tell her dad she was going to various interviews. Instead of résumés in her briefcase, there was just a loaf of bread. She would sneak away to the park all day and sit on a bench to feed the ducks. Then she would come home, pretending she had spent all day job-hunting.

Part of me still laughs as I imagine this happening. But, often this is how I feel: lost on what I want to do, defeated because I can’t figure it out, and too exhausted to face it at all.

Eventually, my grandpa got suspicious of her daily outings. One day, he wrestled her briefcase away from her while she was on her way out the door. Opening it, he was so confused to find a loaf of bread, and she looked at him, tears in her eyes, and told him what she had been doing.

She feared he would be upset or disappointed in her. He was the type of man who worked hard and didn’t make excuses.

To her surprise, he laughed, saying he had wondered where all the bread was going. Then he said, “Let me get my coat,” and that day they went and fed the ducks together.

I still get a little emotional thinking about this story. Not just because I knew my grandfather and it makes me miss him, but because something about his response reminds me how our Heavenly Father sees us.

Literally and figuratively, I get dressed up on the outside, act like everything is fine, and pretend I know what I’m doing. I go through the motions. I try to handle all that life throws at me on my own and don’t ask for God’s help. I think if I ignore the hard or confusing things, maybe, just maybe, they will go away. I get overwhelmed and hide, pretending I am secure when in reality, I feel like my world is falling apart.

But that’s not how God wants you or me to live.

He’s not disappointed, He’s not ashamed, and He doesn’t make us solve the world’s problems. God already knows where we are, and He knows where we are going. He simply wants us to let Him in on how we really feel and to join us while we do things like feed the ducks.

Life with faith is not supposed to be so burdensome. Yes, even as a Christian, it is hard, and I can’t find anywhere in the Bible that says we will always be free of days like these. But Jesus wants to be the one to carry our burdens. He just wants us to walk with Him while He does.

“My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”—Matthew 11:30

For achievers and perfectionists like me, this is good news. Actually, it’s good news for all of us. We don’t have to face the unknowns and uncertainties of life alone. It’s not our job to do it all and do it all well. God is the one in control. He is working all things out. He has not forgotten us.

I don’t know what you are facing today. Maybe you are lost and confused, with no direction for your future, and God seems distant and silent when you ask. Or you are in the throes of work or motherhood or taking care of aging parents and can barely think about anything else, let alone believe God cares about the details of your life. Or maybe you are wondering whether you made a mistake or took a wrong turn and feel too ashamed to ask God for help.

What if you took some time, even if it’s just a few minutes, to go “feed the ducks” today? Do something that feels good, simple, and pure. Go outside. Watch your favorite movie. Drive around with your favorite song on and nowhere to be. Watch the sunset. Sit in silence. Pause. Breathe.

Then, invite God to be there with you, with no agenda, no plans, and no trying to earn His love or favor.

Remember, He delights in being with you more than you doing things for Him.

He has not forgotten us here.

— V —

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Meghan Ryan Asbury is an author and speaker who is passionate about helping people discover and live out their God-given callings. She has worked in international ministries as well as with Proverbs 31 Ministries. When she’s not surrounded by friends, you can usually find her reading a book or enjoying the great outdoors. A 30-A beach girl, born and raised, she and her husband now reside in Nashville. Her first book, You Are Not Behind: Building a Life You Love Without Having Everything You Want, is available wherever books are sold. You can connect with her on Instagram @meghanryanasbury and at AlwaysMeghan.com.