How to Have a Really Good Day

By Meghan Ryan Asbury

I caught myself doing something this week.

Most days, my husband comes home from work and asks me how my day went. As a new mom, I spend my days caring for our baby girl: feeding her, trying to rock her to sleep, playing, reading her books. While there’s no such thing as a routine right now, the days all can start to feel very similar.

But I started to notice my responses to his question.

I’d tell him we had a good day if she was minimally fussy. I was happy if she napped well and I was able to get work done or things around the house. (And it would be a great day if I got to do something for myself like take a nap or exercise.) On the flip side, I’d tell him it was a bad day when she wouldn’t cooperate at nap time. If she didn’t feed well, cried a lot, and I wasn’t able to do anything outside of taking care of her, I felt frustrated and overwhelmed.

I defined good and bad days based on how I felt, not how I got to serve my daughter’s or anyone else’s needs. Then I started realizing this is how I operate in most areas of my life.

It’s a good day if I accomplish everything on my to-do list, if I’m able to do something that makes me feel rested, or—bonus—if I can do something fun.

They say, “It’s better to give than to receive.” This phrase actually comes from the Bible. John 3:16, for example, says, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”

What if there’s something to that old adage?

Real love is sacrificial, not selfish. The moments I’ve felt more loved and cared for are when someone has gone out of their way for me. As hard as it is for me to admit, I struggle to offer that kind of love to the people in my life. I’m naturally more selfish than I want to be.

But what I’ve found is that when I can let go of my agenda for the sake of someone else, I actually experience more joy, peace, and love than if I finished everything on my to-list for the day. Seeing someone feel seen, loved, or cared for thanks to something I did really makes me feel better than anything I could have done for myself.

What is a way you can lay down your plans for someone today?

Maybe it is letting the laundry go undone so you can play longer with your kids.

Or surprising your spouse with their favorite dinner after a long day.

Can you do the dishes your roommate left in the sink (again)?

Or let someone take the good parking spot you were eyeing at the grocery store?

None of these ways of loving people lead to us neglecting our personal needs, but they make room for us to show someone love and, in turn, experience that love ourselves.

There are certainly hard days when you’re a mom, and I will be honest about that. But I no longer want to define a good day based on what I can do for myself. A really good (though sometimes hard) day is one where I get to lay down my life for my daughter, my husband, a friend, or a stranger, just like Jesus did.

— V —

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Meghan Ryan Asbury is an author and speaker who is passionate about helping people discover and live out their God-given callings. She has worked in international ministries as well as with Proverbs 31 Ministries. When she’s not surrounded by friends, you can usually find her reading a book or enjoying the great outdoors. A 30-A beach girl, born and raised, she and her husband now reside in Nashville. Her first book, You Are Not Behind: Building a Life You Love Without Having Everything You Want, is available wherever books are sold. You can connect with her on Instagram @meghanryanasbury and at AlwaysMeghan.com.