Meghan Ryan Column

Hope for the Holidays

By Meghan Ryan Asbury

Between the holiday parties, family gatherings, and twinkling lights, December has a way of rushing in loudly. But when the noise settles, we’re often left with reflection—sometimes bittersweet. If you’re not where you hoped you’d be this year, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too.

II know all too well that we often can feel the ache of the things that don’t change around this time of year. The relationships that didn’t turn out how we wanted, the new opportunity that never came to fruition, or the things that feel left undone can really sting. We silently swore to ourselves last holiday season, “This time next year will be different,” and now it’s here. Often, it doesn’t seem like anything has changed. Or it has changed, but not for the better.

I want to remind you: the past 365 days have been full. There have been vacations and weddings, celebrations and babies, promotions and milestones. There have also been rainy days and breakups, mourning and loss, endings and letdowns. These are all signs of life moving even when we want it to stop.

There is tension in living in-between: beauty and pain, celebration and disappointment. And the holidays tend to be glaring reminders that both exist simultaneously.

Last December, I sat in my living room before sunrise. The tree lights blinked softly against the dark window, and I felt the weight of another year that hadn’t gone as planned. Some prayers hadn’t been answered yet, and some dreams still felt far off. But in that quiet moment, something shifted. I realized the lights weren’t there to erase the dark; they were there to remind me it doesn’t win. Maybe that’s what hope really is: not pretending everything’s perfect, but daring to believe that light can exist in the middle of the darkness.

Before we turn to what’s hopeful, I want to give you permission to admit this season of life isn’t what you expected or wanted. Whatever hard or disappointing thing you are facing as you walk into the end of this year is painful. You are allowed to feel that pain. Grieve, cry, yell, or talk to a friend. You don’t have to slap on a smile and force yourself to seem happy for the sake of others. There is healing that comes when we allow ourselves to grieve.

The move from pain to hope isn’t a clean line. Sometimes it’s a slow shuffle, sometimes it’s standing still and waiting for the light to shift. In the midst of the hard times, I don’t want you to lose hope.

Even when the year didn’t turn out the way we hoped, there are usually threads of goodness woven into the story—if we slow down enough to see them. What if you took a few moments to reflect? Where did you see growth? Can you recall a moment of unexpected laughter? Did something you prayed for or hoped for happen in a small way you could have missed?

If you find yourself tired of trying, weary from struggling to cope with the demands of daily life, or exhausted from having your hopes raised only to be disappointed, I have something to tell you: God has not forgotten you or left you behind. He is still working in your life, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Hope doesn’t always come as a grand revelation; sometimes it’s handed to us quietly—in a shared meal, a handwritten card, or a friend who sits with us in the waiting room. The holidays can remind us that we were never meant to walk through life alone. When we reach out to someone else, even from our own broken place, we both get to experience something beautiful.

Friend, a lot can change in a year, but a lot can also change in a day. What if it all looks different a year from now? How would you live if you knew that it would? With hope?

In the meantime, I don’t want you to miss what’s right in front of you. There is so much beauty to experience, even while we wish things were different.

Keep praying.

Keep believing.

Keep hoping.

You don’t have to force hope, but you don’t have to fear it, either. Because if anything, this time of year reminds us that God keeps all His promises, because He sent Jesus. And together, we can be hopeful that He is not yet done working.

— V —

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Meghan Ryan Asbury is an author and speaker who is passionate about helping people discover and live out their God-given callings. She has worked in international ministries as well as with Proverbs 31 Ministries. When she’s not surrounded by friends, you can usually find her reading a book or enjoying the great outdoors. A 30-A beach girl, born and raised, she and her husband now reside in Nashville. Her first book, You Are Not Behind: Building a Life You Love Without Having Everything You Want, is available wherever books are sold. You can connect with her on Instagram @meghanryanasbury and at AlwaysMeghan.com.